My Immortal
by Sorceress Rinoa Leonhart
Summary: Rinoa has died and Squall is left with his child hood fears, everyone he loves leaves. Song fic to My Immortal by Evanescense.


I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
Squall lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He'd been in here ever since the funeral. Quistis, Selphie, Zell and the others had given up trying to make him come out several days ago. The haunting fears of his childhood had visited him many a time during these long days alone. Ever since Ellone had left him at the orphanage he had always feared getting close to people, he was afraid he would loose them. Rinoa had made him forget that fear, brought him to trust people, to love again. Then she to was taken away. And now here he lay, alone in his room surpressed by all the fears now come back. Now he knew they were true. Anyone he became close to disappeared. He stood up and walked out into the hallway, glancing around to make sure no one was there, he didn't want to speak to anyone right now. But he needed to walk around to clear his head.   
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
"Hey Squall!" Squall turned around and for a moment thought he saw Rinoa but it wasn't really there. He went to the training center, fighting would clear his head and get rid of some of these memories. As he went in he suddenly remembered,  
  
"I can see you taking a girl here for a date." The memory of Rinoa's teasing voice rang in his head. He immideiatly turned away. No matter where he went memories of her were everywhere, her presence still lingered with him yet she wasn't really there, he'd never have her back yet she would never go away. Her memory would remain her tormenting him.   
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Squall looked around him, it had been a month now, but nothing had changed. He spoke to no one anylonger and people had given up trying to speak to him. No matter how long he stayed here he would never be able to forget, there were some things that would never heal not even with time and the GF's. This pain would never leave him.   
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
Squall wandered out onto the grounds, outside the garden the Ragnorok was landed. He rested his hand on the side of the ship. He remembered when he'd first found the Ragnorok, with Rinoa. How she had feared becoming a sorceress, feared having people fear her. He'd comforted her, said he'd never leave her, he would be her knight. But in the end it was her who had left him and there was no one who could comfort him.   
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating mind  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
He walked away from the ship, not wanting these memories anymore. But no matter where he went, they followed him. When he went back in the Garden, he somehow ended up in the ball room. Where they'd first met. She'd captivated him, the way she looked the way she smiled when she made him dance with her. Everything about her was magical. But now all he had left was the memory of her beauty and charm, only a shadow of what was real that left him longing to hold her again. But she was gone. He turned and left for his room, maybe he could escape these memories in sleep.   
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
Squall tossed in his sleep,   
  
"I'll be there,"   
  
Her voice was there in his dream's, he could see her face, but no matter where he ran he could not find her. He searched for her high and low, but she was gone.   
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
He stepped out of the ragnorok at Edea's house, where they had made the promise. That if they couldn't find each other they would be there, but she wasn't he knew she wouldn't be. But he just couldn't resign himself to the fact that she was never coming back, there was a hope in him that someday he would come here and there she would be smiling at him.   
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
He climbed back onto the Ragnorok but did not head back to the Garden this time. Never back there. Her memory would always haunt him, but now he was alone. He would never become close to anyone again, he was destined to be alone, that was the way it had to be. 


End file.
